You do not need to have ventured off to the streets of Bahgdad, during the Caliphate of Harun al-Rashid, stumbled upon lost caverns to the words “open sesame,” braved encounters with powerful genies in lands apart or held court with Scheherazade in a grand Sasanian palace to experience the wonder and majesty of the lands that tell of one thousand and one nights. For a most curious visit, to Arabian-Nights settings, can be had so long as you allow the magic sands to be your guide. On this most excellent adventure, you will encounter those strange and extraordinary things that you would never even dare dream of. If you have, then you should be consulting a therapist not this guide.
But, along your journey, swap stories with fellow wayward travelers, to get out of precarious situations, meet beautiful maidens that will likely signal someone’s doom, feel what it is like to be a dog, monkey, block of granite or other such curiosity (oh, for no particular reason), play “good vizier or bad vizier?” again and again, converse with genies about the topic of fate, especially your own, and one thousand and one other fantastic and/or life-threatening situations!
A SINGLE STEP
The magic sands of one thousand and one nights work in considerably strange and mysterious ways. Localities that would seem distant feel strangely close, and areas are seemingly both specific and general at the same time. You may be in Arabia, Persia or India at one moment, and somehow feel as though you are in all of those places the next. Likewise, you may travel by caravan or ship and set off on a year-long journey only to recite a brief story and arrive at your destination to find the time has already passed. Other times, a genie, magic carpet, flying horse or roc may come into play and render the laws of conventional travel completely inconsequential. Additionally, it is worth remarking, that maps, trails and compasses are entirely unnecessary. For anyone following the magic sands will assuredly be guided by strange impulse, random chance or mysterious fate. Such journeys are not for the socially shy, as the chance of meeting up with random characters, even in the most isolated and untraveled desert expanses, are exactly always. So do not worry where you are going or how you will get there, just go and you will end up exactly where you need to be against any and all odds— Now, whether where you need to be is where you want to be is a completely different matter entirely.
Undoubtedly, traveling through Arabesque landscapes at night is to be met with unexpected encounters. In fact, these are a hundred times more common than any encounters of the expected kind. Regardless, when relating a strange encounter, it is customary to pretend that it is still very strange, despite strange being normal in these parts. Speaking of such, it will be best to clarify some misconceptions. So, somewhere along your visit, you will encounter a genie. It is something that is just going to happen. Contrary to popular belief, not all genies wish to grant wishes. Very seldom, actually. Most are usually angered or offended by something, i.e. anything, you said or did. Typically, with some terrible punishment in mind, so steer clear as best you can. Oh and the first rule about genies is to get use to contradictions. Like genies are both common and uncommon or must keep their word and can break it. Granted the latter condition, might be more of an expiration date, of a hundred or so years. Thus, if meeting a genie trick them in promising something then and there, as it is hard to tell if any prior offers are still valid.
Moreover, it should be stressed, with the utmost seriousness, the importance of knowing and observing local customs. For examples, if told to not ask questions, you should REALLY not ask questions. Likewise, it would also be crucial to know whether, in any faraway place, if one is to buried alongside his or her late spouse before both parties have passed. Now, if you happen to be in such a place where the last aspect is enforced and not asking questions is also observed, then you are kind of on your own, aren't you?
Similarly, when in country, do no make false claims of nobility. Wearing fancy clothes and calling yourself a prince or princess does not make it so. Even though, at times, you may seemingly runs into more sultans, viziers, princess, princes, etc. than common folk. Still, claiming you are “Prince of the Isles, of the Seas and of the Seven Palaces” probably will arouse more suspicion than anything else. Plus, considering what princes or princesses typically go through in these parts, one must really stop to wonder why anyone would want to. Oh, and another helpful hint—avoid islands. No, not any specific island. Just, literally, any island.
DON’T! It never ends well.
LIVE TO TELL THE TALE
Surely, anyone who is familiar with Arabian Nights tales may well wonder why this section is not longer than any of the previous. The reason for this is simple. Whereas in most fantastic lands being alive is preferable to the alternative; however, in the lands of one thousand and one nights this may not always be the case. Accordingly, the latter route is often times more preferable to being sealed in a cave, transformed into something or slow-roasted by a one-eyed giant. Furthermore, while you may very well be justified in being astounded by the one thousand and one sights of the Arabian Nights, do not rejoice so quickly, as this will most certainly be short-lived. For, no matter whether it be a valley of diamonds, palace of gold, castle of copper, garden of delights, city of brass, ivory hill, etc. be on your guard. For there is no treasure that goes unguarded, and you will very likely find new meaning behind the expression, “I'd give my right eye.” Or, discover the old meaning, depending on the origin of the term. Among the guardians of golden troves are to be found man-eating cyclopes, man-eating snakes, man-eating ghouls, man-eating apes, man-eating women, man-eating men, starting to see a trend here?
Within the Arabian Nights settings, there are few adversaries that do not wish to eat you. Accordingly, it is often more practical to assume, at any given moment, you will be eaten more so than not. For even if you meet up with those who do not wish to make a you-kebab, rest assured, you are, at least, in for a beheading. For instance, there are, of course, genies who do not make meals of travelers but only make travelers wish they had been eaten.
Among things to avoid on your Arabian Nights voyage include: trap doors, storms, sailing, ships, islands, anything to do with the sea (actually), magnetic mountains, genies, princesses, questions, disguised persons, magicians, giant egg-like objects of immense size, etc.
GUIDES
- The Arabian Nights Entertainments Edited by Andrew Lang
- The Arabian Nights, Their Best Known Tales, Edited by Kate Douglas Wiggin and Nora A. Smith
DOCUMENTARIES
- The Thief of Bagdad (1924), Raoul Walsh, Dir. Douglas Fairbanks, Act.
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